Katie and Peter: More annoying than Gary Megson. Pic from shimelle, some rights reserved

How Gary Megson could become more popular than Adolf Hitler

Ridiculous analogies are the latest weapon of choice for the army of Pro-Megsonites (mainly non-Wanderers), who have taken it upon themselves to criticise Bolton fans for daring to have an opinion about the manager whose wages they pay.

SquareFootball (a good site that Manny Road enjoys a good relationship with, but isn’t afraid to criticise when they get it totally wrong), suggested recently that Bolton fans wouldn’t get behind Gary Megson even if he guided us to the Champions League.

The article goes on to say:

I’m pretty sure that if Hitler was brought back from the dead and stood in the middle of the pitch at the Reebok Stadium that he would get a better reception than Megson.

Now, whilst Megson isn’t on most people’s Christmas card lists, I’m pretty sure Hitler might get a boo or two as well if he was paraded on the pitch at half-time. In fact, if I wanted to get all over-the-top and tabloid about it, I might point out that suggesting Hitler would get a good reception is pretty offensive to any Boltonian whose relatives died in the Second World War, but this isn’t the Daily Mail, and I’m sure it wasn’t meant like that. Besides, Manny Road has been having a little fun with Hitler recently too (thanks to @Shoot_Immortals on Twitter for educating me about Godwin’s Law in relation to the use of Hitler in analogies).

What I’m absolutely convinced about, is that if Gary Megson got us in to the Champions League, not only would Bolton fans stop booing him, we would all chip in and get them to put up a statue of him in the Town Hall Square. Hell, I’d probably build my own personal shrine to the Ginger God.

But Gary Megson isn’t going to get us in the Champions League, and to make this analogy implies that he has done something that is in some way comparable to getting us in the Champions League. He hasn’t. He’s done an OK job, that’s it. How can anyone predict what Bolton fans will do when Megson does something remarkable when he’s never done anything remarkable?

So, just for the record, here are 10 other things that Gary Megson is never going to achieve, but if he did, I for one would back him all the way…

1. Discover a cure for cancer

2. Find Madeleine McCann (and maybe sign her up to replace Gavin)

3. Bring peace to the Middle East

4. Make it cool to be ginger

5. Get Katie and Peter to shut the fuck up

6. Find an alternative to David Cameron as our next Prime Minister

7. Get Johan Elmander to score 30 goals a season

8. Find Osama Bin Laden (and sign him up too, we could use someone with a bit of tactical nous)

9. Make bwfc.co.uk an interesting read

10. Get Gary Lineker to stop patronising the crap out of us every Saturday night on Match of the Day

Failing all that, three points against Spurs today would be a good place to start.

Who’s with me? And what other things could Megson do to win you over?

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