- Kevin Nolan has ‘quite literally been taking a leaf out of Roy Keane’s book,’ according to The Bolton News. Apparently he’s been reading up on the Sunderland manager (but if he really was ‘quite literally taking a leaf out of Keane’s book’, wouldn’t there be some kind of leaf extraction involved in the process? Or am I taking the phrase ‘quite literally’ a little too literally?).

- Thankfully, one man not talking literally in The Bolton News is the club doctor Jonathan Tobin. If he was then the phrase ‘we inspect them top to bottom’ in this feature about player medicals would be rather disturbing (instead, the most disturbing thing about this interview is that he appears to suggest that the transfer window deadline means Bolton don’t always have time to carry out a full medical before signing a player).

- Lots of articles about Johan Elmander this week, who appears to be enjoying his moment in the sun (as does his manager, who doubt feels somewhat vindicated). Sky Sports’ Chris Kamara is still not convinced, though, despite picking Elmander as his player of the weekend (although having watched Kamara babble and blunder his way through his commentary from the Stadium of Light on Sky’s Soccer Saturday, I’m not entirely convinced Kamara would even recognise Elmander if he walked in to him).

- The Northampton Chronicle (of all places) is among the many places that report Gary Megson’s interest in Sheffield Wednesday defender Mark Beevers. I always enjoy the Northampton Chronicle’s transfer gossip stories because they tend to produce the world’s longest headlines (and they also cover Bolton Wanderers stories that you won’t find on The Bolton News).

- Another transfer gossip story you won’t read in The Bolton News is Megson’s alleged interest in Derby’s Miles Addison… or this one about our supposed £17 million bid (yes, that’s £17m… can someone call an ambulance for Mr Gartside?) for for Standard Liege’s Axel Witsel… or rumours that Nicky Hunt might stay at Birmingham… or tittle tattle about a move for Bristol Rovers’ Rickie Lambert.

- Patronising headline of the week would go to this story about Megson abondoning long ball football in favour of the beautiful game, except I’m not sure it quite makes sense: ‘Bolton Wanderers can play for football!’ (What’s the ‘for’ there for?)

- And finally… back to Kevin Nolan, and on the same day as he said reading Roy Keane’s books (or extracting leaves from them) had taught him that scoring goals isn’t the be all and end all for midfielders, he’s also in The Bolton News saying that he needs to get back amongst the goals (go figure).