It’s Time to Have Stuart Hall Stuffed and Mounted
Monday August 16th, 2010
A game between Bolton and Fulham was never likely to be a classic, this being the fifth 0-0 draw in ten fixtures between the sides at the Reebok. Maybe that’s why only 20,352 turned up for the first game of the season. Given the weather, there were more enjoyable things to do.
Expecting Owen Coyle to immediately transform Bolton’s dysfunctional game into something more dynamic would be foolish. He is after all, working mainly with the squad that his predecessor assembled in order to play dull football. But more evidence that he’s moving in the right direction is required.
The centre back pairing coped easily with Bobby Zamora, but the defence as a whole is still too easy to get behind, particularly on the side that should be occupied by Gretar Steinsson. Up front, the Whites were toothless, incapable of putting the opposition under sustained pressure.
The most damning criticism of Gary Megson, is that his players looked as if they were strangers to each other. After a pre-season with Coyle and a whole host of friendly games, little progress has been made in that department. Can we have some movement please?
A scoreless draw, against a side notoriously poor on their travels is not a satisfactory result (Fulham won one game and lost eleven away last season.) Especially with a difficult September to come in which the points tally is likely to be zero.
Worse was to come for those Wanderers fans who tuned into Five Live on the way home where the BBC demonstrated their continuing contempt for Bolton by giving the match summariser’s gig to Stuart Hall.
Hall is many things, an irritating wanker being one of them, but he’s no football reporter. The use of language is bad enough. It reminds you of On Again, On Again, the song that Jake Thackray wrote about his wife.
‘…she is one of those women who
Will never use three or four words when a couple of thousand will easily do’
Belt Up Stuart. Forever.
But it’s Hall’s dodgy recall, that’s the killer. He made snide remarks about Johan Elmander – at his brightest for some time, but lavished praise on Kevin Davies, Martin Petrov and Lee-Chung Yong who were little better than passengers.
Davies was disinterested and wasteful in possession and Petrov had no end product, while Bolton’s favourite Korean import was so anonymous he could have been rechristened Lee Chung-Who?
Hall has his own personal clock museum. It would be the ideal place to stash him once he’s been processed by the taxidermist, for he is the epitome of a man whose time has passed.
BWFC News, BWFC People, Johan Elmander
4 Comments to It’s Time to Have Stuart Hall Stuffed and Mounted
The problem with Stuart Hall is he can’t possibly be concentrating on the game, as he’s too busy writing his review?
SamAugust 16, 2010
All words, no substance. Absolute oxygen thief
PearAugust 16, 2010
Bit harsh on the Bolton players. 1st game against decent opposition and without Stockdale (6 saves, the most anywhere weekend), Elmander would have finally scored a decisive goal. Most teams have honeymoon periods under new managers and its good to take a point from the first game of the season. Reduces pressure instantly. It’s important we go on and take at least 4 points from the next 5 games.
Worse from the BBC was that MOTD didn’t show any of Jussi’s saves, preferring to show mugshots of Coyle and Hughes.
You must have missed the first half, Petrov was quite good and causing lots of problems. Lee Chun Yong has been playing through for a long time and should have been rested.
However, if you were going to point out a weakness on Saturday it was the Megsonian lack of substitutions until the 84th minute. Klasnic is a long way off fitness though.
GeorgeAugust 17, 2010
harsh words, i think. i find the guy very entertaining, especially after a defeat or 0-0 draw. a game at the reebok rarely has me on the edge of my seat and hall lets me see the funny side. i cant understand the need to slate the guy in an article like this. its just another bullshit, over-written, ‘hey, guess what i hate today’ article. its boring. gimme some news about BWFC.
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August 16, 2010