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Oh Goody. Yet Another Bolton Pre-Season Preview

Friday August 13th, 2010

Things couldn’t be more different.  This time last year there was a collective gloom amongst Bolton fans.  The previous season had ended with one win in eleven games, the summer signings were uninspiring and Gary Megson was still in charge.

There was an inevitability about the opening day defeat to Sunderland, which was far worse than the 1-0 score line suggested.  That Steve Bruce’s men won only once more on their travels said it all.

This time round there’s a quiet optimism and it’s all due to one man.  Owen Coyle arrived in January on a tidal wave of approval that’s yet to subside.   Where Megson was dull and uninspiring, Coyle has the energetic enthusiasm of a new puppy.  So much so, that you want to slap him sometimes.  Putting so much faith in a manager with precisely one year’s top flight experience might not be the wisest thing, but what the hell, football supporters need hope.

Not many clubs have splashed money about in the transfer window.  Bolton certainly haven’t.  That’s because they haven’t got any.   The much desired prolific goal scorer hasn’t arrived, but then only Nicolas Anelka and a pre-blubber Michael Ricketts, qualified for that description in the last decade, so it was always a forlorn hope.

Instead, there’s Robbie Blake, late of the unwashed hordes in Burnley.  Blake’s a capable operator. It’s just a pity he’s older than God.  But he may be a useful player to have on the bench, providing he doesn’t succumb to arthritis or senile dementia. Or have his zimmer frame nicked when the scallies from Liverpool come to visit.

Concessions have already been made to combat the advancing years.  Drinks bottles for the other players contain Lucozade, laced with electrolytes.  Robbie has Sanatogen in his.

Other than that, there’s Kevin Davies, who may feature less, and the almost always disappointing Johan Elmander.  At least Ivan Klasnic has returned – the best in the box poacher since Stelios.  Some athletes use the phrase ‘staying healthy’ in relation to avoiding injuries.  With Klasnic, it has an altogether more basic meaning.

In defence, things look a tad worrying.   Marcos Alonso is unlikely to start in early season, so that leaves Paul Robinson at left-back.  The Angry Dwarf wasn’t the disaster that everyone feared he’d be, but he lacks pace and still has a tendency to tackle with the whole of his body, thereby removing himself from play.

On the other side of the pitch there is little to choose between Sam Ricketts and Gretar Steinsson.  Both look good going forward, but not so good at defending (ie their primary job function.)

It is to be hoped that Gary Cahill has fully recovered from losing a part of his skeleton and that he returns from the England camp unscathed and without having acquired John Terry’s taste for shagging anything with a pulse.

Then there’s Zat Knight.  All together now:

‘Big Titus Bramble.  You’re just a big Titus Bramble.’

It’s in the middle of the park where things look interesting.  Bolton have more midfielders than you can blow a Vuvuzela at.  The Whites were a disorganised mess in that area in Megson’s latter days.  Coyle improved things in that respect, but the downside was that the Whites created very few chances from January onward.

Can Bolton’s new man forge a cohesive unit from Fabrice Muamba, Sean Davis, Mark Davies, Joey O’Brien, Stuart Holden, Matt Taylor, Tamir Cohen, Martin Petrov, Lee Chung-Yong and Ricardo Gardner?

Resist the temptation to say ‘only he plays them all at the same time’.

The visit of Fulham isn’t an enticing one.  The Cottagers (they really need to do something about that nickname) arrive with a new and competent manager, and with tails still up after a splendid European run.  Bolton scored three consecutive home wins against them under Sam Allarydce, but other than that there have been two defeats and four draws, all of them 0-0, including last season’s result when Mark Clattenburg took his vendetta against Kevin Davies to new and ridiculous heights by disallowing a legitimate goal.

But enough of the naysaying.  It’s a new start and we’re feeling chipper.  Well, at least until September.

BWFC Goals, BWFC News, BWFC People, Kevin Davies, Lee Chung-Yong, Mark Davies, Matt Taylor, Owen Coyle, Phil Gartside, Premier League, Ricardo Gardner, Sam Allardyce

Tags: BoltonWanderers, bwfc, bwfc.co.uk, Fulham, Sunderland

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