The Naughty Adventures of Leg Over Lennon

This is where the match report on the Fulham game should have been.  There would have been a brief description of the action, along with judgemental comments about certain players. That won’t happen now, so  Prince-Désir “Sprit of Zat” Gouano and Liam Feeney can rest easy for now.  (And yes, it was noted that the latter laid on a goal, after finding a team member wearing the same coloured shirt at his 48th attempt.)

"Watcha doin' tonight darlin'?"

“Watcha doin’ tonight darlin’?”

Thanks to the Sunday Mirror, Bolton Wanderers has hit the big time.  The club has its very own sex scandal.  According to that publication, manager Neil Lennon has has three women on the go, which is pretty impressive for a ginger person.

Suddenly, the reason for Dean Holdsworth’s interest becomes clear.  It’s nothing to do with football or finance.  He just wants a decent wing man.  Lock up your daughters when Deano and Leg Over Lennon hit town  And your girlfriends, and wives and any female who has reached puberty and has a pulse.

One of the Lennon trio has a beef.  “Kim” as she’s been christened by the Mirror, alleges that Lennon said that a knife might be held to her throat should she blab to his long term partner Irene, which she did anyway.  Of all the names they could have picked, the paper decided on one that usually belongs to a dog.

“In response to an article published in the Sunday Mirror on Sunday 20 December, Bolton Wanderers can confirm that the club are currently conducting an internal investigation regarding the matter concerned.”  runs a statement on the offical site.   It was Neil’s own internal investigation that caused the problem in the first place.

Neil is asked how his sex life is going.

Neil is asked how his sex life is going.

It’s unlikely that anything will come of this.  “Who’s up Mary Brown,” sang the fans when it was discovered that Manchester United manager Tommy Docherty was diddling the wife of the club physio in 1977.  United sacked him.  Docherty went on to marry the woman in question.

These days it’s accepted that those in football will hump anything in high heels.  It has been suggested that Lennon’s behaviour could be construed as a breach of contract resulting in dismissal without compensation, but that could lead to an expensive and protracted legal process.

Product advert at Lennon's local. Fanny's is the name of the pub you filthy minded beast.

Product advert at Lennon’s local. Fanny’s is the name of the pub you filthy minded beast.

All of which easily eclipses last week’s off the field news.  A group of individuals are forming a supporters trust, with the possible aim of purchasing the Whites.  Who are these people?  Er, they don’t want to say.

So to sum up:  BWFC are skint, can’t pay the staff, haven’t won a game since forever, have a half dead chairman, a sex maniac for a manager and a bunch of loons who want to buy the club, but won’t tell us who they are.  Merry Christmas everyone.

– Richard McCormick


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